Thursday, September 17, 2009

Aku Masih Ingat

Tulis dan padam. Tulis dan padam. Tulis lagi... Beginilah dari dahulu,

"Aku tak bijak berterus terang, tapi kau semakin pintar mentafsir"

Terima kasih, maaf dan mohon didoakan diri ini yang semakin tua dimamah masa, menunggu saat pulang ke tanah air abadi.



Aku masih ingat segalanya...inilah jawapan bagi soalan masihkah kau ingat?

Terkadang yang senyap tak bermakna bisu, yang sedikit tak bererti kurang, yang jauh tak bererti terpisah...

Sunday, September 13, 2009

sebulan setengah yang menguji dan menguja

gambar hiasan semata-mata (tidaklah selahap ini)




Selesai berbuka di Hussin Nasi Kandar, Sg. Petani, ayah menghantar aku ke STAIL (sekolah tahfiz al-islah) di Tok Bedu. PEMBINA (persatuan belia islam nasional) di pihak akhawat mengadakan qiamulaill jamaie. Hujan yang turun meredupkan suasana, juga menyejukkan hatiku.Bertemu adik-adik daripada UiTM, KMPP, Azimah PMC (Penang Medical College). Semacam jejak kekasih pula bertemu Azimah.



“Awak study kat mana ye. Rasa macam pernah jumpa,”
di muka aku penuh tanda soal. Ini bukan déjà vu.


“PMC.”



“Oh, tak apa. Silap orang. Saya ada kawan kt UK,”
aku berkira-kira nak pergi.


“Eh, saya ada kembar kat UK. Arifah.”


Sah! Sekurang-kurangnya aku betul dalam salah. Aku sempat bertemu Arifah pada syita’ (musim sejuk) yang lepas di Kaherah. Seronoknya. Seronoknya. Rindu pada Mesir, ingatku pada Mesir. Malam-malam akhir pada Ramadhan yang lalu aku dan Mila beri’tikaf di Gami’ Amru.




“Kita selalunya buat ibadah kerana semangat. Kalau ada orang bagi semangat, bagi motivasi, buat program baru semangat tapi kalau tidak…Macam tulah juga kita kalau Ramadhan dah pergi, tak semangat. Tapi, antara tarbiyah Ramdhan ni adalah mengeluarkan fitrah supaya kita mudah melakukan segala kebaikan kerana fitrah,”


Lebih kurang beginilah tazkirah yang menyelangi empat rakaat terawih oleh Umi Yati. Nak tak nak kena akui. Kepulangan ke Malaysia selalu menguji. Majoriti akan mengaku. Senangnya, senangnya duduk di Malaysia. Jiwa diuji dengan ‘tak teruji’. Fitrah diri diuji. Kenapa sebulan setengah ini aku membuat kerja-kerja yang aku boleh buat dua minggu di Mesir. Kerja sekolah daripada Ustazah Iffat terkandas. Amanat ustazah Huda tak selesai.

Lima, enam hari ini aku ala-ala merengek dengan ibu. Menghitung hari untuk pulang ke rumah kedua di Mounira. Gembira dalam sedih. Teruja dalam tangis. Ibu dengan aura keguru-ibuannya berkata,


“Sedih Ramadhan dah nak pergi tu patut lebih lagi!”

Aku sengih dan menganguk. Betullah tu.

Aku sedang bersiap sebenarnya. Bersiap untuk bergelar graduan Ramadhan. Terketar-ketar mengagak-agak keputusan. Bersiap untuk pulang juga ke M-ku yang kedua.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Pulang ke laman rindu


“Hakita, jom pi sekolah!”


Hari ini aku kembali lagi ke tanah itu. Segalanya berubah. Physically, mentally and spiritualy. Aku dan Atikah berpakat untuk ziarah Irshad sebelum dia berangkat ke Plymouth, UK raya ke-6 nanti. Kami berjanji dengan Nina Rasad untuk bertemu di Irshad. Tiba-tiba teringat pula pada Nabil Z yang baru seminggu tiba daripada Jordan. Teringin nak jumpa budak JUST. Call her and she said ok!
Irshad dan berubah…cluster?! New building, new teachers, staffs and students. Environment? Not sure… We all change! Dah tua rupanya. Adik-adik yang kami sambut ketika orientasi akan ambil SPM tahun depan. Ada yang dah jadi pengawas, ada yang makin peramah. Macam-macam. Pemilik kolek ini, speechless pula. Aku pun sama. Dah besarlah awak. Moga cita-cita tercapai, dan awak sentiasa berani tegakkan Islam. Garang dan tegaslah bak Umar Al-Khatab.
Reaksi. Ustazah Zuraini teruja bila disebut Tanta, Alex, Sayeda Zainab kerana beliau pernah menuntut di Iskandariyah.

Pulang daripada seberang laut. Pelbagai reaksi.

“Amboi seronoklah depa. Pi berjalan tempat orang.”

“Hampa dah pandai cakap Arab ka?”

“Hampa ni toksah lah dok bergaul dengan budak kita ja. Balik Mesir belum tentu boleh cakap Arab.”

“Dah pi Fayoum, Sinai?”

“Esok-esok hampa dah buka klinik mai la panggil cikgu-cikgu Irshad. Bagi diskaun baik punya!”


Persoalan dan pertanyaan-pertanyaan ini, memulangkan aku pada realiti. Aku terfikir selama hampir dua tahun (walau tak cukup sebab 4 aku di Malaysia), apa yang aku dah dapat? Dah tunaikan amanah? Betul aku layak menerima biasiswa itu? Harapan mereka sebagai guru dan juga warga Malaysia. Kita tak perlukan doktor yang cuai! Kita tak perlukan graduan daripada mesir yang pelat, gagap berbahasa Arab! Kita tak perlukan mujahid-mujahidah yang lembik tak kenal berjuang!

Aku tak pergi ke Irshad untuk menunjuk-nunjuk atau sekadar bersapa mesra dengan guru-guru dan adik-adik. Ada yang lebih penting. Penting untuk aku kembali ingat bumi yang aku pijak di situ islam wajib aku junjung. Tempat tinggal dan berkerja, mereka-mereka yang berjasa. Wajah-wajah Irshad mengingatkan aku agar lebih gigih berusaha. Berpijak di bumi yang nyata. Hidup bukan mimpi indah atau sekadar angan-angan siswa yang leka dengan dunia kampus.


Ada tuntutan! Tuntutan untuk membersihkan diri dan masyarakat daripada krisis jahiliyah, islamophobia, sekularisme. Tak guna jika hanya sekadar bicara...

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Tomorrom Never Comes

I've been following Baba Ali's videos in youtube since last year. This is ummah film's first film. Tomorrow Never Dies? You may die tomorrow!..no, no, you may die right now....

Still alive? See, this times left was given to you by Allah the Most Merciful so that you can repent. Come on, give yourself a chance to be ahl jannah not jahannam. Time and tide waits for no man. Hey buddies, tastaghfir min rabbina. Ask for His forgiveness while you are still breathing.

The second term of the School of Ramadhan offering an important subject to be covered. Score an A for Maghfirah (Forgiveness) Subject!

Dear friends and mates please forgive me for all my wrong-doing. Thanks for everything in case tomorrow never comes!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

A Jihad 4 Love

One of my interest is to search image on motivational words in google. I would rather choose words like success, strive and so on, to be googled than islamic words such as jihad and so on. Why? It is such a sore for my eyes to watch those extreme porno cartoons by the misunderstood-about-islam-people. Pictures that humiliate Prophet Muhammad P.B.U.H, saying nonsense about suicide bombers and a lot more.



But, this time I’ve googled the word jihad. This picture caught my eyes.

click for the whole pic

A film : A Jihad for love. Interesting. I would like to know more, is it in the same genre with Ketika Cinta Bertasbih? Then, I begin youtubing it. A few words of description about the film come out… muslim –gay!


This contoversial film by Pervez Sharma potrays muslims guys as gays try to stand up for their right.


Slant magazine by Kevin Lee:


Alternating between nearly a dozen subjects situated in South Africa, Paris, Egypt, Iran, Turkey and India, the film captures numerous compelling stories of the struggle among Muslim homosexuals for the right to be accepted, or in some cases, to live: a gay imam is confronted on a talk show radio with death threats ("They must cut off his fucking arse" and "We should definitely bring back the death sentence for this guy"); an Egyptian is imprisoned and tortured for two years before seeking asylum in France, where even there he is reluctant to reveal his identity; and a gay Iranian escapes to Turkey, where he awaits his fate (asylum to Canada or extradition back to Iran).

I'm not accredited to talk about the law of Islam, but certainly know homosexual is forbidden and with a wise mind, it is bad for the society healthy and morally.

I believe that this is not the only bias product about islam which produced by illiterate. Some might just watch it as a documentary. Yup, it's about people themselves nothing about religion-principal but it can cause harm to Muslim's akidah. We were attack again and again and it will stay like that untill the rising of islam. It’s a lame and coward tactics but it is effective. Without a strong akidah (believe), then people start asking unnecessery question. If you’re a follower of saifulislam.com u would know the Y (why) that matter and the Y that’s not…

Why Allah created women with hair if its not for a show?
Why we have to listen to our parents even we’re an adult, don’t we’re free at 18?

Why homosexual is not permitted in Islam, then why God give us this feelings?

It’s not the one whos asked to be blame, it is us that have to change. Maybe we always care about her scarf more than about her solat and syahadah? (I’m not saying scarf is to be ignored). It’s the matter of what’s more important. How the one who doesn’t believe that rice is a food would cook it?? You know sometimes people solat all his life but still commit crime. The lady who wear scarf still taking ecstacy. Those questions and problems need to be solved one by one. Person by person. It's about faith and tarbiyah (education). It's our shoulder to shoulder job! Our enemy are working. We have to work harder!

Ubat Tak Sedap

It's going to be fullmoon soon. We're arriving the half season of the school of Ramadhan. It should be now, we're already comfortable and get used with our timetable and best diet for the best ibadah. If it's in school, the middle is always the best. Form 3 and form 4, don't think much, the school is ours. An enjoyable moment. Same goes here, do enjoy this little moment of the School of Ramadhan before we speed up faster and harder for the climax. Enjoy the ifthor, enjoy the tahajud and reciting al-Quraan.


As the bird twitt in the twitter, my youngest brother (4 years old) is ill by chicken pox or also known as varicella which highly contagious. He got it from my mother. It caused by varicelle zoster virus. He refused to take the antiviral and antibiotic. My parents forced him to take the fever med as his body temperature is rising. So what to do? He said,

"Biar Haziq sakit. Ubat tak sedap"

He did asked his babysitter,

"Tak ada ke ubat yang sedap?"

So, we follow our traditional petua, drink the coconut juice. Talking about coconut juice, my 5th year senior in Cairo, once went to Atabah. Then, at the 'Mahal 3Ashoir' (juice stall), it stated 'Coconut Juice- LE..'. So this senior was excited. You know, how it felt if we found Ruzz bi laban at mamak stall? She never knew that there was also coconut juice in Cairo. So, she bought it. This coconut juice felt very different. It was oily, very creamy and it was white in colour. It was a COCONUT MILK! Drinking santan?




Do pray for my brother and all of us. May we deserve to be a faizzun and back to our pure fitrah at Eid Al-Fitri wal faizzun.. Best wish!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

A year ago


It has been a year since my first post in MyReflexArc. It is an effort, if it is deserve to be called so. From nothing to something is creative. From something to a better thing is inovative. Neither both include me in the category. Bloging thing has been done by many people in many ways all over the world. It could be just a seasonal trend but writting is my whole life passion. The different is just the medium i'm into. As my all-time-favourite quote by Ayu


"sedekahkan setiap sendi-sendi kita pada Islam".

These phalangese of mine, are doing what they afford to do. All the posts are reflexes which I tried to benefit it. Every time there is stimulus which hits me, I will come up with a subject to write. But everytime I try to write, miss brain is working and asking me is it my emotion or my rational which affect my point of view. It helps me a lot! Rethinking and reanalizing. What is right and what is wrong? They say and they say, but what Islam say? All these questions grow me up. And for this post, the stimulus is the archive and my sensory cotex is asking how number 23(until August 2009) differ from 10 (2008). Is it the quantity or quality? How it helps others even in a tiny dot?


May Allah pleased with us! Thanks a lot to the readers for reading and comments.