I know He is there, always be there.
Wednesday, April 7, 2021
Saturday, January 23, 2021
Terbang Tinggi
Jiwa orang beriman umpama burung terbang tinggi di angkasa. Semakin tinggi, semakin kecil dunia kelihatan. Tiada nilai. Namun dunia tempat ujian. Keindahannya kadang-kala memanggil-manggil. Saat iman terbang merendah menghina diri, kita disambar pemangsa. Adakala tak mampu terbang lagi.
Aku rasa, sudah terlalu lama jiwaku dibiar lena kerendahan. Hingga ukuran kebahagian, hanya sebatas empat dinding yang kosong. Lalu ditanya kenapa jiwa rasa terkurung? Ada waktunya, bahagia disimpan pada bibir dan mata manusia. Mata dan bibir yang juga tak miliki bahagia. Ini semua kerendahan yang tak dimiliki jiwa yang terbang.
Aku tertanya-tanya, kenapa Allah campakkan rasa ini kepada aku? Kenapa tidak aku akur saja pada kerendahan ini dan jalani hidup serperti biasa? Aku sering bertanya soalan-soalan yang aku tahu jawapannya. Cuma aku lupa.
Saat air mata tumpah menangisi kerendahan jiwa, aku sedar di sana ada rahmat Allah yang tak pernah luput. Ia air mata yang sama, yang tumpah pada 2 pagi 28 Ramadhan di Masjid Salam, Hayyu Asyir. Ia air mata yang membawa sekeping jiwa merasa nikmatnya bebas berkelana, terbang tinggi. Ia air mata kerinduan pada hakikat. Pada keluasan rahmat yang tak terkira.
Jiwa seorang Mukmin itu, tenang. Tenang menjalani tugas sebagai khalifah di siangnya dan hamba merintih Tuhannya di malam hadi. Tuhan Yang Maha Luas Pemberiannya, Dialah yang membolak-balikkan sekeping hati.
Moga jiwaku bisa terbang tinggi.
Amirah AJ
Alor Setar
Wednesday, December 23, 2020
Menghitung kebenaran
Saturday, November 28, 2020
Pindah
Kehidupan yang berombak-Google |
Friday, November 20, 2020
Pena telah diangkat dan lembaran telah kering
Hujan yang sering menenangkan |
عبْد الله بن عَبّاسٍ -رَضِي اللهُ عَنْهُما- قالَ: كُنْتُ خَلْفَ النَّبِيِّ -صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ- يَوْمًا، فَقَالَ: ((يَا غُلاَمُ، إِنِّي أُعَلِّمُكَ كَلِمَاتٍ؛ احْفَظِ اللهَ يَحْفَظْكَ، احْفَظِ اللهَ تَجِدْهُ تُجَاهَكَ، إِذَا سَأَلْتَ فَاسْأَلِ اللهَ، وَإِذَا اسْتَعَنْتَ فَاسْتَعِنْ بِاللهِ، وَاعْلَمْ أَنَّ الأُمَّةَ لَوِ اجْتَمَعَتْ عَلَى أَنْ يَنْفَعُوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَنْفَعُوكَ إِلاَّ بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللهُ لَكَ، وَإِنِ اجْتَمَعُوا عَلَى أَنْ يَضُرُّوكَ بِشَيْءٍ لَمْ يَضُرُّوكَ إِلاَّ بِشَيْءٍ قَدْ كَتَبَهُ اللهُ عَلَيْكَ، رُفِعَتِ الأَقْلاَمُ وَجَفَّتِ الصُّحُفُ))
Abdullah bin ‘Abbas –radhiyallahu ‘anhuma– menceritakan, suatu hari saya berada di belakang Nabi shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam. Beliau bersabda, “Nak, aku ajarkan kepadamu beberapa untai kalimat: Jagalah Allah, niscaya Dia akan menjagamu. Jagalah Allah, niscaya kau dapati Dia di hadapanmu. Jika engkau hendak meminta, mintalah kepada Allah, dan jika engkau hendak memohon pertolongan, mohonlah kepada Allah. Ketahuilah, seandainya seluruh umat bersatu untuk memberimu suatu keuntungan, maka hal itu tidak akan kamu peroleh selain dari apa yang telah Allah tetapkan untukmu. Dan andaipun mereka bersatu untuk melakukan sesuatu yang membahayakanmu, maka hal itu tidak akan membahayakanmu kecuali apa yang telah Allah tetapkan untuk dirimu. Pena telah diangkat dan lembaran-lembaran telah kering.”
Saturday, November 14, 2020
Listen
https://www.deviantart.com/incredi/art/Listen-to-your-heart-112702686 |
It is not easy. Time to time, our faith are tested. We faced challenges differently. There is endless ways of how we will be tested.
It gets us anxious. Either it shows or not. Sometimes, we hold our pride so high to even admit our struggles. Acknowledge is definitely the door to solutions.
I'm going through this phase. Non other than writing helps me to ventilate.
Alhamdulillah, I could never be more thankful to my husband. Trying so hard, to understand me. To step in the other side of my challenging world. At time, I'm sinfully regretting my life. He will be there non stop. Listening even he doesn't understand. Listening even he, in the process will somehow hurt with my assumptions. Take a pause to nuture himself then come back everyday to pick me up.
Last night, was our first session of Quran recitation online. We wanted to exchange more than words and worries. So we exchange our recitation.
I knew how hard his work is. Standing the whole shift. Dealing with people. I knew who he is. So whatever that he has done for me, is beyond expectation.
Ya Allah I'm so thankful for sending him to me.
13/11/2020
MiraAJ
Limonia
Friday, November 6, 2020
Bottled emotions, love and letting God.
Being in long distance relationship had put me in a roller coster moments.
I am the kind of person who always having issue in expressing my true-self. At any point I feel the need of sharing my bottled emotions, I' ll use various kind of indirect ways. I'll create a story about 'someone'. I'll make it as an open not-so-serious question. I'll make it as my past. Whatever it is, I'll try as much as I can not to show what I truly feel inside.
Maybe I felt that vulnerable is weak. I always looked up to independent lady. Not just that I bottled my negative feeling, I hate being around with someone who has negative vibes, as simple as someone who expressed to me that their food is awful. I just don't like it. This somehow, portrayed me as a 'cool' person.
But of course, I've gone through struggles differently. I refused to share. I find it difficult for me to open up and discuss about my feeling. I find it difficult for me to get help, to ask for opinion. I'm so used to lead a lone-ranger life as in emotional Lone Ranger. Even though I have pretty awesome companies and circles. I just don't discuss all the emotions, questions that been lingering inside.
Marriage, it is trust, love and same goals that unite us. But we barely know deeply about each other. I knew it is wrong, but I can't help to wish that he is a mind reader. I still bottled my feelings but this time, being 'the one', I always hope that he can read me. The expectation pilling as time goes by. After a year of marriage I expect we knew each other well. Of course it is irrelevant. Especially due to this COVID-19, being both healthcare worker, we rarely spend time together, let alone to reach a 'mind -reader' level.
When life hit me, at those hard moments, expectation raised up. Of course, when it didn't go my way, I feel frustrated. I knew, it is a matter of time. It is a matter of good communication. It is no longer me or him, it is us.
I also knew, that I'm responsible for my happiness. Not others.
This fact, hit me real hard on my face. Never did I realise that my habit of bottling my feelings and thought would affect someone else. Someone near to me. (even though not physically near).
This is part and parcel of life. At the age of 31, I found something new about myself, what are the things I should improve, how to face and embrace this hardship. How to let go expectation and at the same time, to accept me the way I am and make friend with taqdir.
My favourite quote, "Berdamailah dengan takdir."
MiraAj
Limonia
Jumaat 6/11/2020